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Latest text of pad RosQ4t2SHs
Saved Oct 16, 2013
GR Testers
15 October, 2013 
COMMUNCIATION WITH CONNIE!
 
 
And the discussion starts early... 
 
Need to recognize that we tend to not look "outside ourselves".  Remembering that others think differently is a skill that needs to be practiced.
 
Exercise: One person states their problem / concern, in short sentences, and the listener repeats what was said back, verbatim.  The idea is that, by hearing their exact words back to them, it will help them focus and re-examine their issue.
 
"Go talk to a duck..."  Sometimes you don't really need somebody to talk to, you just need to talk through something.  How many times do you get half-way through talking through a problem and realize the solution, without the other person contributing a thing?
 
Hi Greg!  Similar variation - Read it (a document) out loud!  See if it makes sense reading it.
 
Matt citing James Bach's "7 Types of Testers" - http://www.satisfice.com/blog/archives/893
 
When looking to hire a tester, try to understand where your priorities are and test for that.  
 
When it comes to communication, you have to remember who you're speaking to, and speak to them in language they use and understand.  (It takes practice!)
 
How do you get past a dysfunctional relationship?  Bring in an outsider, a third party, who can act as a mediator.  Don't get caught up in "triangulation", where they try to play you against the other person.  Look for where you can bring your skills / expertise / personality to bear to help lead the other parties together, rather than being the "go between"....
 
Matt: 
 - The "management sandwich" (compliment, criticize, compliment)  as a way to try to bring about change in somebody.  (The One Minute Manager)
 - Avoid asking "Why..." because it comes across as accusatory.  Look for some other way to lead into the question that.  Also, say "and" instead of "but" ("You're doing well, and you should...")
 - Negotiating using the "absent proxy"; using a third party (who is absent) as a way to leverage a negotiation.
 - "Communication" is often too nebulous; pick specific points to discuss, so you can come to an agreement and actually pass information, rather than a "shotgun" approach that buffers you from actually listening and responding.
 
Connie:
 - "I feel" vs "I think".  Note that saying "I feel that..." is a thinking statement...
 - "But" cancels the compliment that proceeds it...
 - Be careful with coloquialisms that cut off conversation, "Right, right right..."
 - Learn to assert yourself in a healthy manner.  
 - Be direct, but not confrontational or angry.  "When you...  I feel...  I want...."  Make the statement calmly; "When you do X, I feel Y.  I want you to Z..."
 
Realize that often "communication problems" are more a case of "I heard, and understood what you wanted.  I just don't agree and didn't do it..."